Wedding bells, whistles, things

Couples are trending toward registering at general-merchandise retailers, such as Target, Linens 'n Things and Bed, Bath and Beyond as opposed to high-end department stores that sell the traditional china and silver, Ms. Nola says.

"Brides today don't want to be polishing silverware and want to put things in the dishwasher," Ms. Nola says. "It's a different lifestyle we have now. The way the world is now is fast and furious. Nobody has time to polish silverware."

In addition, registering with general retailers enables couples to find more of a selection in one location, Ms. Nola says.

"They can find everything there, and it's affordable," she says.

Couples should not limit their registries to the here and now, however, Ms. Yonaites says. For example, they may want to entertain after they are married and, if so, will need glassware, tableware and linens to serve large groups, she says.

"We understand that for registrants it's a big job to figure out what they want," she says.

Couples who decide they want to donate instead of receiving gifts can register on charitable-giving Web sites such as JustGive and the I Do Foundation.

"It's definitely still considered a new movement, but it's growing every year," says Andrea Lloyd, director of operations for JustGive, A Smarter Way to Give, a database in San Francisco, Calif., of more than 1 million local, regional and national charities.

Couples can register for charity, giving all or part of their registry, or choose merchants that give a percentage of their profits to charity, Ms. Lloyd says.

"It's showing their community that charitable giving is an important part of their lives ... as well as inspiring others to bring charitable giving into their lives," she says.

Couples registering at JustGive say they want to avoid the pressure of materialism from the billion-dollar industry of weddings and want to focus on what is important to them, Ms. Lloyd says.

"I see that a lot, couples being overwhelmed by all the traditional things that aren't necessarily all that important," Ms. Lloyd says.

Five hundred couples have registered at JustGive in the past year and brought in a half-million dollars to be given to charity. Since the start of the Charity Wedding Registry in 2003, $1 million has been donated.

"It's a time where people are traditionally giving rather expensive gifts. What better way to redirect that generosity to those who really need it," Ms. Lloyd says.

Guests not comfortable with charitable giving, however, can choose something else to give to the couple, says Anna Post, marketing coordinator of Emily Post Institute Inc. in Burlington, Vt., and author of the upcoming etiquette book "Emily Post Wedding Parties," scheduled for publication in the fall.

"The gift at the end of the day is the choice of the giver," says Ms. Post, a great-great granddaughter of Emily Post.

Couples remain within decorum if they register for charitable and financial donations and gifts catered to their special interests, Ms. Post says. In particular, if they register for financial registries, they are letting their guests know what they plan to purchase with any of their monetary gifts, she says.

"People are more comfortable that the money is going toward something tangible that the couple will enjoy," Ms. Post says.