By DIANNA MARDER
Kansas City Star
Posted on Wed, Feb. 13, 2002

When Carol Primavera of Broomall, Pa., and Massimo Paris were married in May, they didn't need another blender. So they invited guests to donate toward the construction of solar panels at a medical center in Zambia.

"Waterford crystal is great," the bride said, "but to know there is something tangible as a celebration of your marriage is better. That's our love in bricks and stones."

Combining charity and celebration is not a new idea -- it has been used by professional fund-raisers for ages, and births, deaths and milestone birthdays have long been occasions for a contribution to a favorite nonprofit.

Now the field is expanding. More and more weddings are incorporating charitable giving -- in imaginative ways.

In recent years more brides and grooms are discovering the pleasures of remembering the needy, according to wedding officiants and event planners. It's become so popular that couples can actually "register" online for cash gifts to the charities of their choice.

Too often the significance of the moment gets lost in the extravaganza, said Marguerite Sexton, a nondenominational minister who specializes in creating custom ceremonies for weddings, births, even funerals.

Sexton said she didn't have to suggest a focus on philanthropy because couples came up with the ideas on their own.

She presided at the Dec. 1 wedding of Jackie Grant and Rick Scorzetti of Havertown, Pa., who made a donation to a fund for New York City police and firefighters instead of giving favors to their guests.

At the Nov. 30 wedding of Maggie Baenninger, a Doylestown, Pa., native, to Karl Nass, the table centerpieces were wicker baskets of fresh fruits and vegetables -- which were later donated to a local nonprofit that distributes food to the needy.

The examples go on: Tracey Birnhak and Harry Jay Katz of East Falls, Pa., were married in May 2000 and encouraged guests to give to breast cancer research. It was fitting, in part, because the bride was recovering from breast and bone cancer, but also because the couple was well-established.

"There was nothing we needed but emotional support," Harry Katz said. "They may give the same amount they'd spend at Tiffany's, but they're touching the heart and souls of people in need."

This is the kind of philanthropy that does not require wealth, said Joanna Dreifus, a New Yorker who created www.marriedforgood.com. Hers is an idea-oriented site, crammed with suggestions for making a wedding an occasion to do some good.

She proposes holding a reception in a space owned by a nonprofit, hiring a caterer who will give the leftovers to a food pantry program, donating the flowers to a local nursing home, even giving away the wedding gown.

And the Web site www.justgive.org functions as a wedding gift registry where the bride and groom get a free Web page on which to display pictures, directions to their nuptials and the charitable "gifts" on their wish list.

The site, which was launched in June, passes 100 percent of donations to the charities specified, founder Kendall Webb said, and pays its operating costs through separate corporate donations.

"We set up originally as a place just to donate online," Webb said. "Then we found that couples getting married wanted this option, especially if they are older and have basic kitchenwares already. They prefer charitable giving to something superfluous."

There are other ways to do good: theweddinglist.com, one of the hundreds of bridal registry sites on the Web, distinguishes itself by also donating part of its annual profit to charity.

Carol and Massimo Paris say their wedding was enriched more by the gifts of charity they received than any tangible present could have provided.

"When you see what other people have, you realize we're not the center of the universe," Carol Paris said. "Those things stick with you."

Go to Wedding Registry page